CORONA DEL MAR TODAY

The Agony of October Baseball

There is nothing better in my mind, sports-wise, then October baseball. The bunting goes up. The games are played with a chill in the air. You automatically look to the outfield scoreboards to see the out-of-town games, forgetting that there are none. The players’ stats all zero out. Every single at-bat matters — a lot.

I love the NCAA tournament, too. I still wonder if the most exciting game I’ve ever seen live was the UConn-over-Duke victory in 2004, or the Angels World Series Game Six. Usually, I will come down on the side of baseball.

I remember my first World Series game, in 1982. The Cardinals beat the Brewers, and my brother and I were hoarse for days after screaming our heads off. I remember being in college in Columbia Missouri for the I-70 series — frat houses and dorms painted lines on the sidewalk, half for St. Louis fans, half for Royals fans. Years later, when I saw the Royals World Series trophy from that year, my stomach clenched up like it was 1985.

(Confession time: I’m the sorest loser. It’s actually one of my worst personality flaws. I hold grudges from before I was born. Sometimes, my husband will ask why I dislike a certain player or team, and it’ll date back to the 1970s, and he’ll sigh and roll his eyes. I can’t help it, but I know it is really ridiculous and unbecoming.)

It’s always fun when our post-season tickets arrive, one big sheet with every possible ticket we might need. It’s always so tempting to look at the tickets for the World Series, but I don’t let myself. This year, I’m being careful. No Angels flag in front of the house; it failed last year. Things like that.

This year, I’ll be going to games on Thursday and Friday. You think I’d be so excited, so happy, so fired up.

Instead, I’m thinking I need prescription drugs. I’m so nervous that my sleep is interrupted. I’m finding myself thinking about baseball all day long. I’m trying really hard to remember, it’s just a game. It’s just a game.

I should be so happy, enjoying October baseball. But it’s almost better when you don’t care so much.